The Seven Hour Master Cleanse

I am sure you have heard of it. Oprah, Ghandi, Mark Wahlburg all endorse the Master Cleanse. Freshly squeezed juice of the Lemon Fruit, Pure Water, Grade B Maple Syrup, and the Powder of Cayenne Peppers combined to flush out your colon of all the unwanted goo from the many years you have lived. It is recommended to drink this alone for 10 whole days. During that time you expel 28 odd years of colon hippies, delve deep into your own psychology of food, and garner an understanding of what it would be to live in a 3rd world country that only has lemons.

If you like it, put a lemon on it!

I did this.

For seven hours.

Seven hours I drank the spicy citris concoction. Seven hours I peed nonstop. Seven hours I thought about eggs and bacon and  futbol.

And It felt great! So great, I realized I only needed seven hours! The folks who do this for 10 days- bonkers. You only need seven hours to realize that food tastes good, and that ruffage from a stalk of celery does wonders to chase away the colon hippies!

That's right folks, these live in your colon! Free them, they need open spaces to dance and put up tepees!

So in conclusion, I have realized that I enjoy eating food and that if I am do spring cleaning in my lower digestive track I am going find ways to do nothing but eat the fiber of our plant brothers and sisters.


~ by ambur on July 1, 2010.

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