How ‘Lil Margie Got her Boots

‘Lil Margie was a sweet little girl with a fine ass. That’s right, she had a donkey whose name was Charles. Often she rode him to the farmers market where she would buy fruits, veggies, and more often then not specialty cheese.
“Oh look, a round of sheep’s gouda! Two dollars a pound?! You have a deal Farmer Brown!”
“Oh, ‘Lil Margie, you’re such a scamp! Take your fine ass and get on outta here!”
“You bet! I have cheese to eat and my ass to groom!”
So ‘Lil Margie went on her way atop Charles.

As she was traveling down a grassy path in the forest, a rumble roared!
RUMBLE GARBLE SOUNDS THAT ARE SCARY!
Charles bucked and cried and tossed ‘Lil Margie aside, leaving her alone on the side of the grass road.
“Charles come back! What will I do without my find ass?” she yelled after him.
Sadly Charles had not yet finished his course of English on Rosetta Stone, so he did not understand a word that ‘Lil Margie said.
A voice, low and deep came out of the trees, “I see you ‘Lil Margie, will you be mine?”
Now, ‘Lil Margie was no fool, she grew up in Eastern Hanna and understood how shit worked. She put on her best sassafras voice and yelled out,
“Nick Cage, why you be yellin’ and making all sorts of grumble sounds to scare my fine ass? You don’t own me!”
Nick Cage came out from behind a tree, “No I don’t but one day you will be my wife!” he said and then jumped on her!
“No, Nick Cage, you cannot have my virtue! I am saving it for another!” Then she smacked him.
“I grow tired of this game of hard to get, ‘Lil Margie, you have given me no choice but to use my Pensive Stare of Compliance on you.”
Nick Cage then proceeded to Pensively Stare Compliantly at ‘Lil Margie.
Standing frozen in his gaze she said, “Must… resist, his… doe-eyed stare… help me Jebus!”
POP!
Jebus appeared wearing nothing but a bathroom and throwing a pair of My Little Pony Brand rainboots at her feet, “Quick ‘Lil Margie, put on these boots! They’ll give you the power you need to concur his sight!”
“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!” screamed Nick Cage.
‘Lil Margie too the opportunity to put the boots on. A calm spread over her face, then she kicked Nick Cage so hard, he flew right to Ohio the Crappy State.
Wearing her new awesome boots, ‘Lil Margie ran home singing, “Thank you Jebus! I am gonna groom my ass!”

The End

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~ by ambur on September 16, 2010.

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