November Tales: I Should Name Everything: A Moral Tale

Once upon a time, religion said that every soul had a purpose or meaning.
I think religion said that, but maybe it was Oprah.
Anyway, religion came down and gave all the lazy bones, silly people, and chubby-chub people a reason to believe that what they were doing, no matter what it was, was super duper massively important to the chocolate degree.

Chubby-Chub: I am meant to eat this giant cheese sandwich made out of cheese-bread! This is who I am!
Lazy Bones: I am meant to sit on this couch while the dishes in my sink grow mold! I am helping create an ecosystem by being lazy! This is who I am!
SIlly People: Quadrahped! Ie! I don’t say real words!

And you know what, maybe religion is right and all creatures great and small have a purpose no matter how terrible and stupid it may seem to most people.

I say this because I have a lot of purposes. I should name everything. I am good at it. For example:

Now, you may be saying “Those cats are fat! What purpose did they have in life?”
To you, my friend of clearly failing self-esteem, I say this: “Their purpose was to get fat so I could name them!”
Then you would counter back with, “Um, your purpose is to name fat cats?”

Now you’re getting it America… now you’re getting it.

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~ by ambur on November 4, 2010.

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