November Tales: Fear and Parking

I’m not crazy.
Really I’m not.
I promise.

I am scared of parking. Absolutely frightened of that simple action. Heaps of anxiety pour from my armpits at the idea of driving somewhere new.

See, the fear has not so much to do with the parking itself. I mean, I can pull my car into a space and hell, I am a fine parallel parker. In fact, I am pretty champion at parallel parking. I would wager, God could only match my parallel parking ability.

But, if I don’t know WHERE I am going to put my car, I freak out. I have on many, many, many occasions not gone to an event, a party, a friends house, dinner, yoga studios, hair salons, grocery stores, and bars (shouldn’t drive to those anyway!) because I don’t know where I am going to put my car once I arrive. I get short of breath having to drive around a block more then once; I get hives on my neck wondering IF I will find parking. Its a problem.

I have realized this issue often keeps me home, one of the following happens: I walk, go with someone else who will drive or be REALLY HELPFUL, or take public transportation…
Which leads me to my next irrational fear:

Public Transportation.
On some level, I know my fear is silly, but I can’t help but FEEL it. Public transport scares me so much, because I fear missing my stop. Now a rational personal will say, “oh, I missed my stop, I’ll get off on the next.” When I am a bus or on BART, that is not an option. In fact it is the worst thing that could happen. The thought of missing my stop, not getting off at the exact location, instills vast amounts of anxiety and produces heaps of sweat from my pours.
So much, it sometimes keeps me from going fun places.

Really.
Not crazy.
Just…
A writer…
Like this guy:

This guy. I'm really Alan Moore.

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~ by ambur on November 12, 2010.

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