On sickness

I’ve been sick for the better part of a month, though I’ve been in denial of the illness.
“God, that cough sounds awful!” -everyone
“Oh no, its fine! You should’a heard me yesterday!” –me

I like to think of sickness, not as this invading particle trying its damnedest to propagate itself while slowing draining the life force from my body, but as somehow a part of me I haven’t listened to. That maybe, just maybe the sickness is one of the many voices I have ignored.

And sometimes, sick is just sick.

Yet, now forgive the colander on my head gentle reader, have you ever talked to your cough? That runny nose? That strange thing growing on the side of your toe you try really hard to ignore while you are showering?

I decided to have a chat with my cough and see what I would learn.
The following, you may or may not read, is a poorly reconstructed transcript of that conversation.

-Sooooo, cough. Um you’ve been here awhile.
– So what?
– Well, you’re getting in the way of my jive.
– Maybe you’re using me as an excuse to not jive, as you so well put it, Shakespeare.
– Um, (subject is clearly taken aback by the ferocious name-slaying used by the other subject) that could be true, but-
– Nah, man, you are totally using me as an excuse to not work out.
– I can’t breath.
– All in your head, man.
– Okay, cough. Let’s take this from a different direction. I’ve been pretty optimistic this whole time-
– You know, that’s your problem. I’m tired of your optimism. Shit will work out. Everything will be cool. Sometimes shit isn’t cool and more often then not, life doesn’t work out.
– Okay cough, I hear you, but I don’t know what you want from me.
– Give up hope for a change. You walk around with some sorta happy stick up your ass, and you know what. Just give in. Sometimes shit happens. Embrace it. Embrace me. Stop hoping me away.
– I haven’t been-
– OH YES YOU HAVE! You’ve been positive thinking me away from the moment I set up shop in your lungs. “I’ll be fine!” and “Drink some juice!” and my favorite, “I’ll still jog”. Well you did all that, and you know what? I’m still here!
– Why?
– Because sometimes you have to give up your hope. You need to be reminded that you can’t be attached to what you consider to be “good” or “positive”. I wanted to remind you that you are human, and to be human YOU COUGH.
– That sucks.
– That’s the condition, man.
– So if I give up hope and give into your… your sickness, what will happen?
– Ah, now there you go again-
– What do you mean? There I go again?! I’m just asking-
– And that’s another problem. You just keep asking what will happen. Who cares what will happen. Just give up hope, grab a surfboard, and ride the wave of unknown possibility. Much more exciting.
– Says you. I don’t want to be sick.
– People never want what they have and that’s why they are never happy. Think about it Einstein, if you could embrace me, welcome me even, would I seem that bad? Would I seem to upset your jive as you said? If you could just take me for what I am, an annoying cough that is grounding you, maybe you’ll learn something. How’s that for positive thinking? If you could accept me, you could do anything.
– Wow, cough, I didn’t realize how smart you were.
– I know. You’ve been ignoring me. That’s why I had to be so loud and obnoxious.
– Okay, I get it. Thanks cough. I’ll be sick. I’ll stop fighting you.

And that’s how I got better.
I also took a nap.

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~ by ambur on January 25, 2012.

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